A great question is like a master key that can open multiple doors. A question not asked is a lost opportunity to find out a hidden path to a successful journey in your life.
I remember in my early 30’s, I was going through some tough times in my life. Nothing seemed to go right at the time. I went through several scenarios of derailing relationships, disliking and not performing well in my job and felt like I was just lost for couple of years.
I went through a period where I felt like the victim of my circumstances. I was laid off from my job in 2001 after September 11. I worked very hard to develop myself in the hotel industry and lost my first management position after less than a year. It was very challenging trying to find a management position again and I had to re-arrange my entire life to settle for something less.
In addition to losing my job, I was not investing in important relationships and caring enough to appreciate the people who care about me the most which is my family. I had no sense of personal accountability. I had a different mindset that did not serve me well. I asked the wrong questions:
“Why is this happening to me?”
“Why is my boss picking on me?”
“Why is the company not training me?”
“How come no one listens to me?”
Tony Robbins, American life coach, self-help author and motivational speaker has studied several successful people all around the world and he came to a conclusion that
“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
Many of us go through life, seeking solutions to our problems. We want quick fixes, a method, and a system that would just cure of all difficulties with our job, relationships and communities. We sometimes want to blame someone, the economy, our parents, our schools and our bosses. We shift the “problem” over there instead of taking complete responsibility for our lives.
But are we asking the right questions? Questions are the doorways to our thinking and behaving. Almost everything we think and do is generated by questions inside our head. Questions push us into new places. A better life begins with our thinking, represented by the questions we ask ourselves.
So if we want a better life, we simply need to ask better questions. When you ask better questions, you begin to see an opening in your thinking. You begin to feel empowered instead of a victim to your circumstances. When you ask the right questions, you are focusing on what you can do and how you can be a service to others.
Stephen R Covey, the author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, said “The key to meaningful life is contribution, not achievement. Achievement is secondary success. Character and contribution is primary success.”
I will share with you three powerful questions that changed my life forever. The more I think and reflect about these questions, the more giving I can be. I am not externalizing and seeking satisfaction from what other people can do for me.
How can I add value today to: Someone, My Job, My Family and Community?
How can I be a better: Person, Leader, Husband/Wife, Brother/Sister,Son/Daughter?
What can I learn today from: Someone, A situation, A mistake or failure, Success?
Take the time today to reflect and ponder on these questions. Take a note pad and write some ideas down without any judgment. Let your thoughts flow. Remember to focus on contribution and serving others. I have an inspiring quote that I try to live by every day from Anthony Robbins. This is the lesson he learned through tough times.
“The secret to living is giving. There’s no richer emotion I know of in life than the sense that who you are as a person, something you’ve said or done, has added to more than just your own life, that somehow it has enhanced life’s experience for someone you care about, or maybe someone you don’t even know.(Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins)
What are your life changing questions? What questions transforming your life today?